It’s been over a year since I last wrote a post for my blog. Looking back, this blog was one of the most important therapeutic outlets I had and a huge factor in my recovery. I can’t say that I’ve totally escaped anxiety, but I’ve mastered it for the most part and it isn’t running my life anymore. I guess that’s why I haven’t posted in such a long time; I haven’t had any new material!
So why am I posting today? Well, I’m starting my PhD in the fall and I would like to continue on with this blog. I’ve wanted to enter a doctoral program since I was a kid, and I’ve finally achieved my goal. It took a lot of work – not just school work, but work on my mental health and overcoming all the psychological obstacles that were put in front of me. I want to inspire all the readers who may stumble across this blog that recovery is a real possibility, and one worth working for. Just because you suffer from anxiety or depression or another mental health problem does not mean that you can’t reach for the stars and take hold of your life.
Mental illness is difficult to understand and even more difficult to come to terms with. It’s hard to accept that your brain is wired a little differently than other people’s. It’s hard to explain to your friends and family that there are certain everyday things (like riding a bus or talking to strangers) that are just too difficult for you to handle (at least for now). Even if you’ve managed to recover from an anxiety disorder, it’s rare that anxiety will never plague you again. I haven’t had a panic attack in over two years now, but I still have my moments when my chest tightens and I feel my heart rate spiking. I’m still nervous to make small talk and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give a presentation without shaking and sweating. Mental illness just becomes a part of your life, and the sooner you accept that, the better. (Though it shouldn’t become your whole life!)
Anyway, as per the title of this post, I’m headed to grad school soon and I just wanted to share that personal victory with my readers. If all goes well, I will be posting weekly again. If not, I hope that someone reads this after stumbling across one of my old posts and realizes that recovering from an anxiety disorders is an achievable goal. Never give up!
I wish everyone all the best.